Day 20

My fingerless gloves – my franken-mits! – are coming along nicely! I am very happy about these. I feel like the real test will be if I can recreate the mate for Righty. 

I finished the wrist-palm-to the first knuckle of my fingers bit. I’ve joined everything that needs joining and now I am on the thumb part. This is the part I’ve been concerned with the most. I’ve never made gloves. So far I’ve been winging this (I tend to wing as many things as possible.) based on my knowledge of crocheting…all 5 years of it…which is obviously limited. We shall see though. My hope is to have Righty finished tomorrow!!

On another note…I am proceeding with some scaring stuff all in the name of a possible baby. /sigh It starts with an ultrasound to confirm the presence of a cyst or blocked tube and ends with minor surgery. I’ve never had surgery before. I keep telling myself it’s for a good cause, but I get simultaneously sad and mad. 

Sad because this shouldn’t be so difficult. My body is supposed to make a baby. I wallow a bit until I am reminded that I am certainly not alone and I cannot really assume the my body will work in any way and just should be happy that it converts oxygen to carbon dioxide and food into energy. 

Mad because I feel like this whole infertility thing, at least for us, has been so one sided. I’ve been poked, prodded, drained, scanned, flooded, hurt, and pained by this process. My husband has deposited his bit and had his balls touched. The. End. As mentioned in a previous post, we have unexplained infertility. We are seemingly healthy and no one knows why we haven’t made a baby yet. I guess women just have more bits and bobs to bother? /sigh

This is our last hope and, honestly,  I know I’d take all the pain in the world to hold our baby. 

I started 1984 last night…and by start I mean I read like 4 pages before I passed out (which I think is going to repeat tonight). So far, I like it. 

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Day 19

So, I got it into my head that since I couldn’t find a pattern for the fingerless gloves that I had in my head I would design them instead. (Of course I am now thinking of How the Grinch Stole Christmas – “…If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”)

Over the course of the last 2 nights I have gotten a grand total of about 10 rows. The other hours have been spent crocheting then tearing everything out and trying again…and again…and (you guessed it) again… Funny thing? I don’t feel that defeated by it. I feel like I am getting closer and closer to my goal. I’ve been keeping track of my work in the creative section of my Bullet Journal so that I can make a mate once this first one (Righty, as I like to think of him.) is done. I’m using a mixture of things I like from patterns and my own requirements so it should be interesting (my favorite euphemism…). They’re going to be Franken-mittens!!  I’ll post more when there is something worth seeing and the places I got inspiration later.

Another project I have decided to get into is reading all the books from this list.  

 I made a checklist with the titles and put it in the cover of my journal. I’ve decided to go down the list, and not jump around. That way I have books to look forward to during the ones I’m not a fan of. Some will be rereads, and that’s ok, some will push me a bit more than I tend to like, and that’s ok too. I’ve downloaded 1984 and I’m ready to go!